Spanking is a punishment for a child's misbehavior. Although some consider it to be discipline, it is not. Physical punishment is extremely damaging to the child and the parent.

"Many believe violence is an acceptable form of punishment and an effective way to solve problems between people. As a result, there is no place in all of society more dangerous than the American home," Spare the Rod, page 69 written by Christian minister and parent Phil Quinn.

Spanking is only a useful method because it allows for the parent to physically control the child when they are mentally incapable of controlling themselves.

"Those who are allowed to hit others must be big and strong enough to get away with it and must be doing it for righteous reasons," Spare the Rod, page 78.

Physical punishment may seem at first the easiest solution but the truth is that it is the most destructive and harmful way to control any population, especially children.

"The problem with physical punishment is not just that the punishment might not work--it might even backfire. It's also that when your children defy you and you get really mad at them, you may, at that moment, want to inflict a little pain and make them feel bad. You want to hurt them," Love and Anger, page 57, written by child development instructor Nancy Samalin.

Spanking often results in a negative relationship between the child and parent. The child becomes a model victim, withdrawn, depressed, or enraged and lashing out. Unfortunately, in cases of abuse, children do learn what they live.

"Instead of inspiring compliance or obedience, it is more likely to breed anger, resentment, and a desire for revenge that will eventually lead to an attempt at retaliation," Spare the Rod, page 77.

"Children who are physically punished learn that physical violence is a way to express frustration, fear, and disappointment. They learn to hit and bully others rather than to behave properly and learn the value of another person. That alone makes spanking a harmful, ineffective, and self-perpetuating punishment," The One Minute Scolding, page 46, written by Dr. Gerald Nelson.

Punishment of any kind is not a disciplinary action. Some parents may use spanking as a tool to control their child's behavior but what the child learns is not the lesson meaning to be taught.

"Punishment does not teach good behavior effectively and has many destructive side effects. To discipline is not to punish because to punish is not to teach," The One Minute Scolding, page 51.

If more people took the time to remember being a child and how it felt to be punished then less people would be punishing their children today. It is a very painful experience to be attacked by those who are idolized most, the parents.

"And I hated them when they used to threaten and scream and spank me. I tend to repeat those old techniques when my daughter gets fresh, even though they never worked for me when I was a kid. I either got more defiant or withdrew," Love and Anger, page 195, quotation taken from a student of Samalin's.

When people are threatened or abused, no matter what age they are, it is a horrible and destructive act. Especially when the attacker is a parent and the victim is a child. If parents spent more time loving and teaching their children there would not be a need to use punishment. Thank goodness more people are using more positive and effective disciplinary actions as time goes by. The growing trend is to love and teach instead of to hate and abuse. Unfortunately, this trend is too late for the X generation, gangs, guns, and violence have mirrored the fear of the early experiences of most young adults in America.

"Spanking, happily, is being used less and less in families today, as parents and professionals realize that such physical punishments are painful, embarrassing, and fear-inducing experiences. In the child, it produces more a memory of resentment and humiliation, pain, and fear inflicted in him, than a clear memory of the lesson he was meant to learn," The One Minute Scolding, page 46.

Violence and abuse breed only pain and fear. Though many people find spanking to be an easy cure for misbehaving children, in the long run it only serves to present a wall of animosity between child and parent. Many people wonder why they speak rarely to their children after they are grown and the answer can be found in the memories of that child.

"Every time we lift our hand or voice against a child or an adult, the result is a suffering that transcends all time and space," Spare the Rod, page 68.

Many people have a great fear of spoiling their child and that is their reasoning for using physical punishment. They are too afraid of raising disobedient children and instead scare their children into compliance or rebellion.

"Americans believe it is acceptable to use some violence in raising children. Many believe that parenting is an impossible task without it, or that when a parent is too permissive there is a risk of spoiling the child," Spare the Rod, page 71.

The biggest risk is the irreparable destruction of the child's self worth and spirit. Children need to be loved, to learn, to feel secure, to feel safe, to be free, and to always be kept out of harms way.

For those who are abusing or abused and for those who know someone who is, please contact the authorities or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD.

Children are our greatest natural resource, let us preserve them and love them. The future is bright, but, only if we stand together.